Crazylanka Greets 2007 With Toilet
Humour!
(or The
Greeting of the New Year by the brain-damaged crazy guys and gals of the
Crazylanka providing a better understanding of the idiocy of the people who
rule the Crazy Republic and who are pretending to be for the betterment of the
downtrodden masses)
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Hot Curry Causes Havoc In Tourist
Hotel
by our
corr. Phil de la Toilette (SCN Galle Face Hotel
1-1-2007)
The macho and
increasingly hot Sri Lankan curries served in some tourist hotels, to impress
on the tourists that there is no shortage of chillies in the Crazy Republic,
are causing havoc with the terminal ends of the gastro-intestinal tracts of
tourists. A number of hotels now provide "Fire Buckets" for tourists in
the toilets.
"I haaaad several
laaaaaarge mouthfuls of the curry thing and raaaaaan to the toilet invoking the
Gods by shouting Buddho AAAAAAAmmo" said Miss Shanika Hondakeliya, a
Sri-Lankan born Californian who pretends to be a non-Srilankan born. "Well,
reely I shouted Whoaaaaa Nelly and naaartt Buddhu Ammo because I caaaaan't
speak Sinhala. Aaaaaare this guys craaaaaazy man? Caaaaaaan U tell me?" she
asked in an irritating pseudo American accent..... continued on
page 23 |
Use bucket in case of
fire!
Henry/Crazylanka |
| My Arse!
K.
Silva/Crazylanka |
Queen VMD Had A Large Arse!........We provide
Archaeological Evidence
By not our corr Prof. "Buy me a drink!" Pragnagochara
Paranawitharana (SCN 1-1-2007)
In an exciting revelation made by myself and dishcovered
by myself I can convincingly say that Queen Vihara Maha Devi was a big
woman with a massive backside. I recently discovered this ancient toilet in
Tissamaharama and look at the size eka! The measurements are
two-and-a-half-times the diameter of a standard modern Sri Lankan
toilet.
Also note the circular
catchment area at the front which indicates that she had a good aim, a strong
bladder and a good control of her sphincters. I picked up all the big medical
words like bladder and sphincter by spending ten years in medical school just
learning how to count to ten.
I
measured it in centimeteres as well as in inches. I can count to ten. It is a
lie that I am an illiterate and only became a Professor because of my political
connections. I will have you shot for saying such nasty untrue things about me
on your filthy website. I will get my friends at Rupavahini to shut down
your filthy website! |
William Shakespeare Was Sinhalese!
Much Ado About
Nothing, Ado!
In another earth-shattering piece of racist
and politically fuel-ed news to emerge from the South of the Crazy Republic,
Rev. Professor Narampanawé Rathanajothi Michael Ondaatje Thero of
the Sinhala Langwage Dept of the University of Urugasmanhandiya said
that his research has shown that Shakespeare was Sinhalese and not
English!
Lecturing
to his students from the Junction Tavern, the learned Professor said
"Listen to thish Machang! Me ahapan yako! Shakespeare used the Sri Lankan
word/exclamation ADO in his play titled Much ADO About Nothing.
You want more proof than that? My arse! Mage Puka! What more proof you want,
ah? Actually, machang it was originally called "What Machang? Nothing
Ado!"
At this point undergraduates started hooting in the traditional
manner and the Professor dropped his robe also in the traditional manner. The
police shot several innocent bystanders.....also in the traditional
manner.....contd on page 34 |
Mokada Ado?
Williyong Shakes-Perera, aka Bill
Shakespeare |
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